Witnesses
by inaniloquent
Summary: Hatter is attempting something very important - but Alice isn't even paying proper attention.
1. Chapter 1 Misunderstanding

An Extract from the Journal of one Nivens McTwisp, Royal Announcer of Grand Events, and Keeper of Royal Appointments

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_Today (today being the Trinkwhich Day, during the reign of the White Queen), Tarrant Hightopp, Royal Hatter, attempted to ask for the hand of Alice Kingsley, Champion of Underland. The event went as follows. _

_Alice arrives late at the tea-party (exactly half-to Brillig). Consequently, Thackery flies into a fit of nonsensical rambling and cutlery throwing. Mallymkum responds with flying sugar cubes. The White Queen coughs delicately into her napkin - possibly because she is still piqued over her interference - **help** not being necessary__, or possibly because Thackery's scones are extremely dry today as a result of over-excitement. Nevertheless, the coughing results in panicking Tarrant and he begins to ramble in a slightly-more-understandable-fashion than Thackery._

_Alice calms him down by placing a hand to his cheek. Tarrant chooses this as his moment to propose._

Tarrant: I have been contemplating things that begin with the letter 'M' today. Muchness.

Alice _(laughing)_: Madness

_It is interesting to note that at this point the entire tea-party is silent. This rarely happens._

Tarrant: Magnificent

Alice: Marvellous

Tarrant _(smiling)_: Miraculous!

Alice _(also smiling)_: Magical!

Tarrant _(very much encouraged, and bow tie extremely perky)_: Marriage!

_A collective breath is drawn by the other guests and held – Chessur's ears float a few inches closer to the pair._

Alice _(laughing again)_: Marzipan!

_A few moments pass. A collective sigh is heard – this time Tarrant joins in. Tarrant spends the rest of the party sulking in his chair with a droopy bow tie. Alice spends this time trying to cheer him up, oblivious to why he is upset. The White Queen is smug, but manages to - **is sympathetic**, but refrains from comforting the Hatter as to not arouse suspicion. _

_I would advise that in future Tarrant has a scroll to read off of, as a proper organization of words beginning with the letter 'M' may prevent further confusion on Alice's part._

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**AN:** Inspired by the M is for Marriage type fics out there. (Not that I am saying theres something wrong with them mind you! *fluff rotten sweet teeth fall out*). And I tried to make this look like a journal entry from McTwisp, but now...eh. And FF changed my formatting...like the "is smug but manages to" are supposed to be strikethrough, like McTwisp is writing and suddleny realised "Oh my fur and whiskers! Can't say things like that now can we?" and I don't know if this version really works with that. Or is it childish of me to be relying on formatting at all?


	2. Chapter 2 Meddling

An Extract from the Journal of one Chessur, Royal Layabout and Stirrer of Trouble

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_Well, that Tarrant's in for it now. After the 'Marzipan Fiasco' (as it has come to be known - to everyone but Alice, of course) he went to Mirana and practically begged for her help. She took control of the situation at once, and though I am sure Tarrant will be regretting it later he seems quite grateful for the direction now – 'direction' being a rather loose term. This is, after all, why I myself never get involved in these things._

_However, I was speaking with Mallymkun about the matter, and now she seems to have gotten it into her head that the Hatter needs saving from whatever it is Mirana has cooked up. Ridiculous really, Mally'd only be causing more trouble for the poor man, not to mention the lovely Queen herself. Too many fingers ruin the Pishalver, after all._

_I really must talk to Bielle and see what she has to say about all this. With that awfully large nose, and that squidgy, motherly heart of hers I'm certain she'd be **very interested.**_

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AN - Thankyou for the reviews, they were very heartening! This is short I know, but I can't see Chessur spending much time and energy on a journal to be honest. I doubt if he would even keep one...Hopefully I was able to portray the events and Chess's personality clearly!


	3. Chapter 3 Mumbling

An Extract from the Journal of one Thackery Earwicket, Royal Chef of Questionable Foods and Trajectory Expert

_None of it belonged to the soup you see, so I had to put it in the icing but of course -_

_Why is Hatta acting so frantic?_

_Frantic, indeed. And why lass, are you being so nosey?_

_Oh, Alice knows, of course she knows, Hatta's been running around like a, like a...and here she is, asking me about nonsensical things and I have writing to do -_

_**Alice! I have work to do!**_

_She's not listening to me...but I must write it all down and no, Alice, I will not tell you anything you little - but musn't be rude. Hatta will not be impressed, and where have those words gone? _

_The salts...no...the salts shouldn't go in the icing so I was promptly escorted out of the kitchen even though Her Majesty was just hogging the counter space for her chocolate hearts_

_And I wasn't talking to you Alice! The Queen's candies are no business of yours!_

_Thackery, don't be rude. I'm only asking a question._

_Questions – questions... Alice Always Asks Always but she - _

_She never asked about the salt! _

_The salt was just an excuse for Her Majesty to steal my **SALT **kitchen, you see. Best just let it slide for Queens don't care much for meddlers unless they themselves are meddling and **she's not meddling in anything!**_

_But you just said-_

_No I did not say anything! And I will not because Hatta's proposal depe-_

… _where did Alice go? Maybe it was the salt. Awfully rude of her to run off in the middle of our conversation._


	4. Chapter 4 Missing

An Extract from the Journal of one Mallymkun, Royal Sleepyhead and Wielder of Dangerous Sewing Things

_Honestly, you try to do somethin' nice for a person and they go and ruin everything by eloping._

_That's right. Hatta and Miss Champion took off to get married, and I quote "far away from trouble-makers". I'm furious with the pair of 'em. **I **was trying to **save** 'em both from her Majesty, and Bielle (and I have my suspicions about Chess too). I was not "trouble-making"._

_And after all the hard work everyone put in to get Hatta's proposal perfect (not that those idiots had better plans than I did) he goes and falls on her. They just tumbled right on down the stairs, Hatta was babbling like a mad-man (well, of course he is a mad-man) and Alice kept on trying to interrupt him and then all of a sudden they were exchanging rings and kisses and **words **__as if they weren't all tangled up on the floor._

_I think Mirana's in a snit too. She won't say anything except "it all worked out for the best", 'cept she's sitting in the middle of all her useless fairy lights with this glint in her eyes, munching down on the chocolate hearts she prepared special for Alice..._

_She wouldn't dare? Would she?_

_Things like mood enhancers and love potions would just be silly..._

_Maybe I ought to go keep an eye on things...stick some sense into her just in case..._


End file.
